Becoming 60 – 20 people of importance in my life – part one
As my 60th birthday approaches, I’m sharing 60 things with you all that have been important to me in my life. I’ve covered places and objects and now to the most important matter of all.
Turning 60 brings many mixed emotions. Excitement, fear and anxiety to name a few. Yet mostly for me, a sense of gratitude that I have made it this far in life and although I don’t want to be ‘this old’ I have to remember those who would have given everything to celebrate such a birthday. So, I make a deliberate choice to be grateful and to reflect.
Those close to me will know that I lost my dad many years ago. He never made it to 60 and the day I became ‘older’ than him was a very weird day full of mixed emotions. While I know he would be very proud of all I’ve achieved in my life so far, I can’t help but also feel a great sadness that he hasn’t been here to see it all – or rather I didn’t get to see him see it all.
This brings me onto my final topic of reflection in this series. I want to take time to consider just a few of the people who have had a great influence on me during my life. This list is by no means exhaustive.
It seems only natural to start with my dad, Nicholas Ronald Bune aka Nick. Dad was a surface coal miner when he first started work in the 1950s and devoted his life to his family. He was hard-working, caring, laid-back and fiercely loyal to those he loved. Dad was happy with what he had in life and didn’t feel the need to acquire material objects, and he was not ambitious or driven – he was content. Coming from a classic working-class background, he knew what was important in life and this is something he has passed on to me. It’s difficult that he never saw me get married or have my beautiful children or grandchildren. However, he saw me grow up, get my degree and enter into the media in a professional I loved. As I’ve got older, I realise that his contentment with what he had, which I saw as a weakness in my teenage years, was actually one of his greatest gifts. A sense of peace can be wildly underestimated and his joy to take joy from the little things in life is something I’ve now embraced.
Naturally, the second person of importance in my life would have to be my mum, Heather Bune nee Horler. My mum was 23 when I was born and in many ways, we grew up together. My sister didn’t come along until I was almost five so in our first few years, we were like a little team though I have no memory of that in my conscious mind. Mum’s childhood was different to mine because when she was seven her brother died and that had a huge impact on her and her sister Daphne and really shaped the rest of their childhood. My mum was a stay-at-home mother but grew up in a time when women were not encouraged to work so that was quite normal – and my dad insisted on that too. She was often frustrated by the fact that she has not worked since she was a teenager.
The third person of importance in my life is my intelligent and brilliant sister Dr Alison Bune. It’s easy to flippantly compliment those around us, but when I say my sister is the strongest person I know, I mean it with every fibre of my being. She has been through several tragedies that nobody should have to face. With five years between us, we often struggled to get along in childhood. We would often argue over toys and pull each other’s hair. As adults though, we are best friends and our greatest supporters. After unexpectedly losing her husband to a heart attack at the gym in 2011, Alison has been an independent single mother to her three children. Not long after losing her husband Pete, they sadly experienced a house fire which left the home totally destroyed and priceless possessions lost. Alison has been through far more than most but never fails to put a smile on her face and show love to those around her. She continues to inspire the next generation with her natural gift for teaching and in 2024 she was named the UK’s Biology Teacher Of The Year.
My childhood bestie was Sue Moon who lived ‘down the road’. We didn’t go to the same school but we were very close friends and spent hours and hours together especially in our teenage yeaers. Her father Malcolm ran a local shop and that was my first brush with business, although I didn’t realise it at the time.
Two other friends of mine Helena Eden and Dave Maundrill also deserve a mention in this blog. Both Helena and Dave were close friends from school, and they followed me into adulthood and we always stay in touch. Sadly, Dave passed away about eight years ago and left a great hole in our lives. He will never be forgotten.
Another important figure in my childhood would be my Grampy Ben. He always taught me that to get on well in life we must do well in education. Like many of his era, he left school at 11, taught himself to read and went to work down the pits. He was very very clever, even though it was self taught and was interested in current affairs and politics. He was retired in my life-time but used to cut the hair of all the local men so we regularly had debates in the kitchen, where I looked on in awe as a young child. Sadly, he passed away at the age of 72 of a heart attack but was always quite poorly through my life due to a lung illness caused by coal dust and smoking.
Two people who very much felt like family to me would be my Uncle Ken and Aunty Win. They were childhood neighbours with no children of their own, so they almost ‘adopted’ us as the next best thing. They taught us loads such as how to tie shoelaces, patiently taught us how to read, write, spell and so on. Aunty Win worked at the local infants’ school and today we’d probably call her a teaching assistant. Fortunately, I introduced Aunty Win to my own children when they were young. Uncle Ken passed away at a young age of 61 and Auntie Win many years later in her late 80s. I still miss them both today.
Another person who became important to me in my 30s was my mother-in-law, Letitia Josephine Scott OBE known as Lettie. Lettie was an intelligent woman and the main breadwinner in my husband’s household for many years. She was the definition of a quiet feminist and encouraged me to always be strong, even when my husband Steve was ill with a brain tumour. Her strength was contagious. She was exactly the kind of mother-in-law anyone would want. Lettie was married to Dougie Scott who also sadly passed away a few years ago. Dougie was a wonderful man. Hardworking, hilarious and supportive. He always had fascinating stories to tell from his time in the merchant navy and the many jobs he had – one of which brought the family from Glasgow to Swindon.