WHAT DOES FRIENDSHIP MEAN TO YOU?
This year, World Friendship day is on July 30. It is an international day to celebrate friendship, and takes place on different days in individual countries.
“A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” Lois Wise (author).
What does friendship mean to me?
I have not always found friendships easy, right from my first day at school. I now realise that I’m a dominant character and not everyone can cope with my energy and some people definitely think I’m all “me, me, me’”. When I was at school though, I was very, very shy and quiet and often wouldn’t say ‘boo’ to a goose. My extravert personality did not really emerge until I went into higher education.
Now in my late 50s I can honestly say I don’t care. Those who know me, know all of me, faults and all, so I don’t need to prove anything to anybody. Despite a slow start, I’ve had some wonderful friends in my life who have been my side throughout my journey so far:
From a young age, Sue and her family lived down the road. Her dad owned a news agents and I realise now that influenced me heavily. They always had more ‘stuff’ than us – a car, a big house, big garden, went on foreign holidays and always had new gadgets so as a kid I often felt envious. Yet even then, I realised what a genuine and goodhearted family they were. Sue was the eldest of three children, the other two siblings being boys. The family embraced me, shared things with me, and included me, as Sue’s friend. Although, we don’t see each other much now, it was an important friendship early in my life.
From school, Helena, Lisa and Dave were my three buddies from secondary school. Our lives have gone in different directions and we don’t see each other all of the time yet we’re there for each other when needed. Sadly, we lost Dave to cancer a few years ago and it’s been one of the saddest losses of my life. Helena, Lisa and I will always be connected to each other. When we meet it’s as if we are re-starting a conversation from yesterday in a different room!
Another Sue, though this time my neighbour, came into my life unexpectedly as we were unlikely friends. I was a driven career girl with a young family, her children were older and Sue didn’t work due to her disability. Yet we gelled, and in my early years of business she kept me going. Sue and her husband moved away some years ago which was a painful parting plus it was difficult to see each other. Sadly, she also passed away two years ago. She was a clever, insightful, funny and joyful human being and the world is darker without her.
Lis – my bestie now. We met through our businesses, over ten years ago. Again, an unlikely pairing and yet we got on like a house on fire and still do. We share many loves, likes and we accept totally where we are different. We don’t spend as much time together as we should, yet we value each other so much. Our husbands get on, and our children love Lis and her husband Conrad – they have separate relationships with them. We love getting little presents for each other, we love giggling, we enjoy good food and mellow company – and later this year we’ll run a charity event to celebrate our joint 15th birthday in business. We’ve learned a lot from each other and we still work together regularly.
Friendship is a blessing in life and having my own business has brought so many like-minded friends to me. People who are good, not afraid to stand up for themselves and yet deeply ethical and passionate in their chosen paths.
Have I ever fallen out with friends? Yes, I have yet I do believe often that’s because their time in my life was over – not because they were bad, or I was bad – simply it came to a natural end.
Here’s a lovely poem from Lis about our friendship – bless! Love it!
Friendship,
Constant like the sun, moon and stars,
The ebb and flowing tides of oceans,
Like foundations of a house,
Dependable, faithfully supportive.
A bond held safe in my heart.